Hab it her way Awards: Not retired yet

Today's categories were going to include the Betty White Trophy for Please Don't Retire Ever, but with Teemu Selanne re-signing in Anaheim, all of the nominees have made their plans for next season. (Hey, Nick Lidstrom, it's never too late to un-retire!)
So, in its stead, please have a look at these categories:

The Kardashian Trophy For Excellence In Things We All Need To Shut Up About

Scott Gomez not scoring goals: Okay, we get it. I hated Scott Gomez before it was cool, and now I want off this bandwagon because I didn't build it for jerks.

Patrick Roy as the saviour of the Habs: Hopefully Marc Bergevin and (gulp) Michel Therrien can silence this for good. Just because someone is a legend as a player, does not immediately make them qualified for every job in the NHL. And a bunch of other reasons. Okay?

Hating the Canucks and their fans and Vancouver and their moms: People really, really hate the Canucks. Like, more than they love-hate the Canadiens. More than they hate the Leafs. More than Toronto-based media love the Leafs. Don't they ever get tired of it?

Paulina Gretzky: Someone call me when this story takes some kind of an interesting twist? As in, like, "Paulina wakes up one day, is not starved for attention"?

The now-finished saga of #FailForNail: "Yay! Our team is the best worst!" Like, what?

The Tobias Funke Trophy for Most Hilarious Thing We Laughed At

Dustin Penner breaking his back eating pancakes

The Cosmopolitan.com slideshow of "sexy" hockey players (including the ultra-hot Martin St. Louis, and the forehead of Bad Andrew Ladd)

Hal Gill, and then Erik Cole in the HabsTV videos

Carey Price's first tweet: "skillzy drinks wine coolers"

The LA Kings' Twitter account

The Michel Lacroix Trophy For Best Habs Moment

Carey Price getting drafted to Team Chara at the All Star Game, then winning everyone over by being hilarious at the Skills Competition:

Lars Eller's four-goal game

Max Pacioretty's hat trick

Scott Gomez's long-awaited first goal of the season

Blake Geoffrion puts on the same colours as his father, grandfather, and great-grandfather

Max Pacioretty wins the Masterton Trophy

Alex Galchenyuk gets drafted

...maybe we're a little biased towards MaxPac. But just a little.

Feel free to scroll down and vote in other categories, if you haven't already!